We took Nana and Grandma for Mother’s Day lunch. Just as we were leaving, Nana asked if she could take the toddler to Oxford for three days to visit her family. I couldn’t say yes quick enough; immediately dreaming of lie ins, hot bubble baths and lots of blogging time! My husband on the other hand was unsure. Him being unsure made me unsure.
After a long chat we decided she would go, however when the time came I felt uneasy. My daughter had stayed with her grandparents on numerous occasions, it just seemed to feel different with it being quite a distance from us. In the days leading up to the trip, I was plagued with nightmares. From them being in car crashes, to my daughter being abducted and everything in between. When Nana arrived to start their trip, I hugged her tight and nearly didn’t let her go.
Although I had agreed to let my daughter go with the reasoning that it would mean my son and I would have some bonding time. When they finally left, I felt unsure. I wasn’t really sure what to do with my son when my daughter wasn’t around to dictate everything we do. Within minutes I was pacing the house, so I decided we’d go for a walk.
It was strange but he seemed to know right away that he now got a say. Silly things like when we came to the traffic lights, he reached up to touch the button for us to cross the road. Big sister always does this, and he has never once tried to do this before. But as soon as big sister is gone, he decides to give it a try! He seemed so determined that I lifted him out of his pram and let him press the button. He was so pleased with himself, and gave me a lovely long cuddle afterwards, as if thanking me for letting him do something his sister normally does.
The next day we went on the bus into town, he immediately wanted to sit next to me, instead of his usual place in his pram. We snuggled together and watched the world go by. Every now and then he would turn to me and smile. His smile filled by heart.
It also had some negatives. It seemed that without big sister to entertain him, my son became a lot more attached and clingy. I wasn’t able to get anything on my ‘to-do’ list completed which I found very frustrating. I seemed to have forgotten how awkward this age is, too old to just sit and catch up with friends, yet too old to do anything fun! He is normally so content to slot into the background and let his sister take centre stage, that I struggled to find a place for him when the main act was taking a break.
We’re now all back to reality. Struggling through the expected toddler tantrums from having lots of late nights and basically getting her own way in regards to everything. But we’ve also had a few enlightening moments…
We rode the bus into town again today, on my own with both children. I expected to go back to routine of baby in the pram and toddler on the seat, but my son was close to a temper tantrum, insistent that he should sit on the seat too. After the initial panic and arguments with the toddler over who gets to sit in the window seat, I calmed myself down and rationalised with the toddler. She agreed to sit on a special seat next to the pram, meaning the baby got to sit in the window seat and watch the cars drive by.
They were both happy.
I had put my sons wishes in front of my daughters.
It could have been disastrous.
I could have just left my son in the pram to cry whilst my daughter got her own way.
But instead I found a resolution that everyone was happy with.
And I feel really proud of myself for that.