The weekend away.

the weekend away

We went away for our wedding anniversary this weekend and had a fantastic time.

We ate lots of food, drank lots of wine and caught up.

It seems silly to say we caught up when we spend a good chunk of our lives together. But it seems to be a different type of ‘together’ when the children are around. Even when they are in bed we spend more time playing on our phones or sitting in silence whilst watching some crap on the telly.

We chat over dinner, ask each other how our days have been. We talk about the children, make plans for the week, organise our lives. We don’t actually have a good conversation that often.

And it was so great to actually have an adult conversation.

I think as parents, and more specifically mothers. We sometimes put all of our focus on our children and we forget that one day, those little people will become big people.

They won’t need us anymore.

Yes, they will still visit, but they will have their own lives, and maybe even their own little families.

And then what?

And then we will be left, just the two of us.

We need to focus on our relationship, and not completely focus on the children, to ensure it lasts past their childhood.

To love each other separately from the children.

So when they grow, our love can continue to grow too.

To remember why we do this all.

Why we got married and had children together in the first place.

We love each other, but we actually quite like each other too.

We laughed and joked. We had fun.

And I forgot.

I forgot about the sadness I feel when he is at work. When I’m alone with the children.

I forgot about the frustration, the anger…the depression.

And I didn’t miss them. I feel awful saying that. But I didn’t.

And it felt great.

I felt like someone other than a mother.

I felt weightless.

I came home and gave my babies cuddles.

Their laughter and joy at seeing me again lit my heart, and I was glad to be home.

I felt love and I felt loved.

And it’s given me hope, that one day…

Maybe not today, but one day…

I will get better.

 

 

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11 Comments

  1. I could do with a night away tbh – I haven’t had a night alone with my partner since my eldest was born nearly four years ago. Relationships take effort and at times I don’t focus enough on my other half anymore, or him me. As amazing as being a mum is, it’s nice to be a partner, girlfriend or wife too!

  2. An evening away can do the world of good. You will get there, you’re doing great. Me and my husband could really do with a night just us two actually and you’ve helped me realise that so thank you

  3. You are right, it is so important to spend time together as a couple. You need that relationship now and in the future. It’s not selfish to take time out together to make sure it lasts. I hope you get to do it again soon.

  4. My first and so far only night away from our daughter. My partner confiscated my phone as I wanted to message the grandparents every hour to see how she was doing

  5. So true Jess….We need to remember how to be a couple with our husband or partner too not just parents to our children. This has made me realise we need to make sure we get time just for ourselves as a couple as often as we can! X

  6. I completely agree. It’s really important to make time for relationships as well as the children. I’m quite looking forward to when family are happy to look after my little one so me and hubby can have a night away.

  7. Love this! It’s definitely important to not lose your identity when you become a mother! I enjoy time away from the children with Ed and I savour every moment of it. Glad you had a good time! x

  8. I resonate with a lot of this, especially the need to catch-up even though you’re together every day. You are different people with no little ones around and it’s nice to get the chance to have that every now and again!